Emily ze Glass Goth (zeglassgoth) wrote in hartsfaraway,
Emily ze Glass Goth

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Heartbreak Hotel...

Gawd, I couldn't detest these circumstances any more than I already do. Get comfortable...this is gonna be a long story.

I called Gergely last night to wish him a happy birthday...we talked about lots of random things, how our lives were treating us, and the like...

Somehow the conversation got into how Mike was treating me. The thing is, I actually wanted Gergely to ask me about it. Mike is a very good boyfriend, don't get me wrong...but I just don't feel the same thing about him as I did (and still do) about Gergely. I kept saying to Gergely "I miss you" and "I still care about you very much", to which he'd always say very sincerely and honestly that the feelings were mutual.

He said he felt very badly about the long silences...but they weren't his fault. It was just a big, horrible misunderstanding...I had thought he had stopped caring for me, but he really just had absolutely no way of reaching me. He told me he had felt deeply hurt when I broke up with him, and that he still thinks about me all the time. To be honest, I think of him all the time, too. I think about him so much it makes me cry some nights, because I love him so much, and we're so far away, and I want to be with him more than anything else in all the world...='( He still loves me too, but...but he told me that he'd been exhausting every option of communication he could think of for the past month in an effort to reach me, but couldn't think of anything that would be effective. We can't do internet, snail mail, phone (too much), or visitations...

Because of this, Gergely said that he'd still love me no matter what, but he wanted me to be happy, even if it was with someone else. He kept telling me that I never knew who I could meet in the last 4 months of living here (I also found out he might be moving too...Gawd, everything's going all wrong!). I was bawling my eyes out the whole time...I don't want anyone else but him. He is my one and only true love, I'll do whatever it takes to be with him. But Gawd, I need a way to talk with him on a regular basis! Please, PLEASE, if you can think of some way we could communicate, by all means tell me. I'd owe you a huge favour and a half. I'm just afraid that if I don't act soon, he'll move away without me being able to get his phone number or address, and I'll lose him forever...='( Please, help me...this is the person I love more than anything possible.

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